Shout-out to My Dad and Other Studs

As a kid, when I'd watch movies with my family I'd often ask at the beginning of the show if certain male characters were a "good guy" or a "bad guy." My parents would respond and I'd quickly be satisfied with their brief answer, knowing that I could expect a specific behavior, either good or bad, from the character the rest of the movie. Similarly, as I grew up, I unconsciously categorized people in my life as "good guys" or "bad guys". Like most children, I was typically pretty generous to who qualified as good. Good guys included all men in my family, in my school, in my friends' families, at church, and pretty much everywhere else in my life. Bad guys were mostly limited to bank robbers, kidnappers, and bullies. Since then, I have come to understand that this idea of a good vs. bad guy is neither rigid nor all-encompassing. Just because someone was once classified as bad doesn't mean they can't become good and vice versa, nor does it mean that a person solely does good or bad things. 

I still believe that most people are "good guys". Not perfect guys, but good guys nonetheless. I'm not suggesting that there aren't "bad guys" out there, or that we should blindly trust everyone around us. I'm extremely aware that many guys once deeply trusted haven't broken hearts or deceived those around them (women do all these things too, but I'm focusing on men for the purpose of this post). I'm also aware that not everyone has had the same experience with their fathers or men in their lives as I will share. My post is not intended to point out the flaws in the "bad guys" (nor is it even my place to say if you are a good guy or a bad guy) or to gloss over the hurt that burdens many women and children because of abused-trust, disloyalty, or a myriad of other issues. Rather, my post is to tell the good men out there that I appreciate and admire you, as well as to say that if you feel any less than a good guy, become one. It's never too late. And, if you're on the "good guy" side, you definitely qualify as a stud.

My dad is one of my favorite people on the planet. (Mom, you're at the very top of the list, too!!) I don't know anyone cooler than my dad. He definitely is both a "good guy" and a stud. He's been my cheerleader, tutor, supporter, friend, coach, confidant, protector, counselor, treat-provider, and listening-ear. Also, my dad can out-bike your dad. Just sayin :) I have always felt safe with him and have always trusted His counsel. I'd take his advice over almost anyone else's any day.

We're so cool.

Thankfully, there are many men in the world like my dad. There are so many good guys in the world. Whether you are fathers or not. I've seen your goodness, witnessed your service, and felt your love. So many of you are so good. You may be 55, 25, or 15. Across the board, I'm grateful for men who, despite your religion or background, go out of your way to just be good. You're honest. You're kind. You seek to help those around you to be happier. You strive to better yourself. You respect women, including (and especially) those in your own family. I love that. Thank you!

My dad taught me by his example how to treat others with love, how to be selfless, and how to put God first. His actions spoke even louder than his words by the way he loves and respects my mom.

I love Elaine S. Dalton's words to men in her talk, "Love Her Mother". (Let's be real... I love everything that woman says.) Although she addresses fathers specifically, the same counsel can relate to all men in their current families, with those whom they associate, and as they prepare for future families. She stated:

"Today’s popular culture tries to erode and demean your eternal role as a patriarch and father and minimize your most important responsibilities. These have been given to you 'by divine design,' and as fathers you 'are to preside over [your] families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for [your] families.'3"Fathers, you are the guardians of your homes, your wives, and your children. Today 'it is not an easy thing to protect one’s family against intrusions of evil into [their] minds and spirits. … These influences can and do flow freely into the home. Satan [is very clever]. He need not break down the door.'4

"You must be the guardians of virtue. 'A priesthood holder is virtuous. Virtuous behavior implies that [you have] pure thoughts and clean actions. … Virtue is … an attribute of godliness.' It 'is akin to holiness.'5 The Young Women values are Christlike attributes which include the value of virtue. We now call upon you to join with us in leading the world in a return to virtue. In order to do so, you 'must practice virtue and holiness'6 by eliminating from your life anything that is evil and inconsistent with one who holds the holy priesthood of God. 'Let virtue garnish thy thoughts unceasingly; then shall thy confidence wax strong in the presence of God; and … the Holy Ghost shall be thy constant companion.'7 So be cautious about what you view in entertainment media or print. Your personal virtue will model for your daughters, and also your sons, what true strength and moral courage are. By being a guardian of virtue in your own life, in your home, and in the lives of your children, you are showing your wife and daughters what true love really is. Your personal purity will give you power.

"...Brethren, fathers, young men, 'Be loyal to the royal within you.'”13

Man, I love her. I echo her words and stand in awe of the many, many good men fighting every day to be guardians of your homes and families, and who fight to be guardians of virtue.

I'm going to be blunt for just a sec. Can I repeat that last line? I so, so deeply admire those of you who fight to be guardians of virtue. Virtue is not just a quality for women. It is for all God's children--men and women. Virtue is strength. The world likes to condescendingly refer to it as weakness or unnatural, but it truly is strength. The manliest, sexiest, studliest, most noble and attractive thing you could ever be is obedient and virtuous in word, thought, and deed. No matter if you are alone or with someone else. I admire you guys out there who live your lives in this way. To any who may read this and either disagree with me or who find yourselves living a different lifestyle, I don't hate you or think you are gross or weird. I simply say that you will be forever grateful if you make whatever sacrifices are needed to be chaste and virtuous. Your wife and children (current or future) will be blessed for eternity. The world around you will be better because of it. It's never too late to resolve to make those sacrifices. You will never regret it. I cannot put into words what it means to me that my own dad taught and lived these principles.

Don't forget who you are! Like Elaine S. Dalton said, the world doesn't like for men (or women, for that matter) to remember their importance. You are royal. You are the sons of God! YOU ARE AWESOME!

Thank goodness for good fathers and good sons, for all you good men in the world. Thank goodness for the kind words you say, the time you give to help your family and neighbors, the patience you have for us women when we're emotional and just need to cry and eat chocolate, the hard and time-consuming work you do, your sleepless nights and the often unseen sacrifices you make for those around you. Thank goodness for the times you make me laugh and keep me sane. I'm so, so grateful for my dad, boyfriend, brothers, uncles, friends, and acquaintances who do this on a regular basis. Thank goodness for dads like the one in this video (probably the cutest thing I've ever seen in my life).

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I'm forever grateful to my own father who taught me how to love and how to follow my Heavenly Father. Through his example of support, patience, and guidance (and humor through it all), I can see a glimpse into how my Heavenly Father sees me. Thank you to EVERY one of you men out there who share this same love and example to those in your lives. You are my heroes!! YOU ARE STUDS!! Thank you for being the "good guys" of life. We need more people like you!

Because my earthly father cares about my running, work, stress, accomplishments and whatever else is going on in my life, I can only conclude that my perfect and eternal Father in Heaven cares even more about every detail in my life, whether it is big or small, "spiritual" or not. No matter our relationship to our earthly father or other men in our lives, we always have a Heavenly Father. Even if we've been hurt by "bad guys", He is the ultimate "Good Guy" that we can trust in and rely on. We always have Him. He exemplifies every good and loving and noble trait, and desires that we emulate His character. God loves us and cherishes us no matter what. He's always there for us and He always loves us, whether or not we feel we deserve that love. He is our Father and He will never abandon us. 

~Kristilyn

I am eternally grateful for my dad, my Heavenly Father, and all you other "good guys" out there. The world needs you.